


More Important Than Fear

by silence_since_silence



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breakfast, Clothing, Coming Out, Daydreaming, Decisions, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Morning Routines, Pre-Relationship, Romance, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silence_since_silence/pseuds/silence_since_silence
Summary: Arthur's subconscious is probably trying to tell him something, and he listens.
Relationships: Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 186





	More Important Than Fear

_Well, this is unusual_ , Arthur thinks to himself.

His eyes aren't open yet, though his dreams have fully receded. He's on his back in bed having a very realistic vision of a certain pair of arms wrapping around him and a certain pair of lips finding his shoulder.

He lets the waking fantasy play out a little further. Merlin's phantom nose finds its way up to the hairline behind his ear. The next kiss would land on the outside corner of Arthur's eye.

Arthur smiles. He turns over in bed to align his own face with the space where Merlin's face would be were he actually present. Arthur imagines his hand finds a spot in the middle of Merlin's chest to help him balance as he moves. The fantasy kisses are sleep-slowed, more a press of face on face. He imagines his nose brushing across Merlin's cheeks, their eyes meeting, and his happy smile prompting one from Merlin.

He finds that he wants to rest his head in the spot on Merlin's chest where his hand is, so he breaks the fantasy eye contact to do so. He digs the hand under Merlin's side instead.

Arthur feels fond fingers slowly brushing through his hair.

He stays in that pose snuggling with his mattress for many minutes to let the full effect of the fantasy fill his heart... and maybe influence his choices a bit, too.

In this vision, Merlin loves him, and Arthur wants Merlin in return. As for Merlin's real feelings, Arthur's almost sure that it wouldn't take much convincing to win Merlin. It's Arthur's own commitment to forging a romance that has been most in question since they met five years ago.

They've flirted and become friends, but the knowledge that there could be more has been present in every conversation.

Arthur can't quite write off that life path as pure fantasy this morning. There's no sense that he couldn't have this. There's no feeling that he wouldn't want to.

He's not even sure at the moment, as he usually is, that this potential life with Merlin is more dangerous than never choosing it. Arthur wants it. He wants to be surprised first thing in the morning by the arms of his love communicating to him that he is wanted. He wants to be able only to have to turn his head to reply with his own affirmation.

Declaration.

He chooses.

* * *

Half an hour later, Arthur is sitting at the kitchen table with his breakfast when a disheveled, bleary-eyed Leon walks in.

"Leon, how would you feel about splitting our rent three ways instead of two?"

"Good morning to you, too, Arthur. I slept well, thanks for asking. Oh, you made me a full breakfast buffet over which to talk business? How thoughtful of you to remember that I require blood flowing to my brain for coherent thought."

"Alright! Here, eat my omelet. I'll make another one." Arthur's chair scrapes against the floor as he pushes away from the table.

"You're a prince," Leon replies. He doesn't wait for Arthur to reach the refrigerator before he's stuffing his mouth.

It takes until Arthur is whisking the eggs before Leon is satisfied enough to speak.

"So, what's this idea, exactly?" he asks.

"I'm thinking of sharing my bedroom. It's early stages yet, but I want to be sure you're open to the idea before I move forward with it."

"What's her name?" Leon replies.

Arthur's blood seems to freeze in his veins. His brain doesn't seem to be sending any messages to his arms for a moment, and he's glad he wasn't in the middle of flipping anything that's in the pan.

Everything dangerous about this choice comes flooding back to him. He hadn't exactly forgotten it all. Those worries had simply seemed so small in comparison to the bright light of loving and being loved by Merlin, as though Merlin's shine would vanquish even the monsters in the shadows.

It's not Leon he worries about, though.

"Not a 'her,' actually," Arthur says.

A moment of silence, and then Leon speaks again. "So you're going all in for this." He nods to himself. "It's about time you met someone who could bring out the best of you, Arthur."

Arthur says nothing as he folds cheese and some vegetables into his omelet.

"So you think..." Arthur starts, but he isn't sure how he was going to finish that sentence.

His breakfast makes it onto a plate and all the way to the table where Leon lets Arthur sit down before finishing the thought for him.

"I think this is the brave move, not only because it will change the un-rocked boat of your life, but because choosing to open your heart is always a risk. One worth taking, but nonetheless a move that requires courage. I think that you've been holding yourself back for a long time."

Leon eats another forkful while he lets Arthur think about that statement.

"I also think," Leon continues, "if it comes to the point of this person wanting to move in here with us - and there is no guarantee you won't want to get a place of your own together, - then my wallet will thank you. And that I might need to get a very good pair of headphones."

Arthur stops chewing to laugh through his nose. When he finally swallows, he says, "Good," and then, "If it comes to that, I'll know what to get you for your birthday."

* * *

Once breakfast is eaten, the dishes are in the dishwasher, and Arthur is back in his room getting dressed for work, he sends Merlin a text.

_ Hey, got a minute? _

A reply comes while he's buttoning his shirt.

_ Heading into the lab for shift. 3 minutes, or wait until tonight. _

Arthur leaves his slacks on the low chest of drawers in favor of sending one more text.

_ What I have to tell you might be distracting. Better to say now, or better to wait? Your choice. _

Arthur has pulled on the slacks and tucked in his shirt when Merlin's text comes through.

_ I'm an adult. I can walk and chew gum at the same time. _

Arthur presses the call button.

"Hi. What is it?" Merlin says.

"Will you go out with me. On a date."

As he gets no reply, Arthur realizes his tone may not have been quite right. He hears a sort of breathy sound on Merlin's end.

"Merlin?"

Nothing, so he tries again.

"Still there?"

"Yes," Merlin says.

"Okay. So...."

"Yes, Arthur. Yes."

And now Arthur can hear the smile in Merlin's voice.

A matching smile makes its way onto Arthur's face.

"Okay. Great," Arthur says. "I'll set it up. Talk more tonight." He's rushing now. "Have a good day at work."

"Arthur, you'd better be planning to meet me as soon as you're done for the day."

"Good idea. We'll do that."

"Good. Work now. See you later, Arthur."

"'Bye," Arthur replies.

Arthur puts down the phone. The smile on his face is a little wondering and a little love-struck.

He loops his belt, fastens his wristwatch, ties his tie, slips into his shoes, and battles with the conflicting sleeves of his shirt and sweater until they fall in line. The smile is still on his face.

He gathers his papers into their case. His wallet and phone make their way into his pockets. He yells a goodbye to Leon as he opens the door.

The smile is still on his face.


End file.
